When I became a mom, I never expected how isolating it would feel. Everyone told me how full my heart would be—and it was—but no one really warned me about the ache of feeling disconnected from the world around me. My days became a blur of feeding schedules, diaper changes, and trying to survive on broken sleep. The friendships that once grounded me felt like they belonged to another life, and I didn’t know how—or if—I could bring them into this new one.
For a long time, I believed the lie that I didn’t have time for friendship. I was too exhausted, too overwhelmed, and too unsure of who I even was anymore. I tried a few times to connect with others, hoping to find that magical “besties” everyone talks about, but it didn’t always work out. Some conversations felt forced, and sometimes I left get togethers feeling even lonelier. It took me several tries—and several years—of awkward hellos, group chats I didn’t click with, and coffee dates that went nowhere before I finally began to find my people.
The turning point came in the most unexpected way. I reconnected with an old friend I hadn’t spoken to in over 20 years—she was also a mom now, and it turned out we were facing a lot of the same challenges. That old connection was still there, but this time it was rooted in something deeper. Around the same time, I also met someone new in a diaper group on FB—another mom who just got it. Our friendship grew slowly but steadily, and one day I realized she had become my closest friend. It didn’t happen overnight. It wasn’t magic. It was built on real conversations, shared struggles, and showing up for each other in small ways.
What I’ve learned is that friendship after motherhood looks different, and that’s okay. It's less about quantity and more about depth. It’s about people who see the messy, tired, raw version of you and still want to be there. The right friends don’t care if your house is a disaster or if you’re late again because your toddler had a meltdown. They sit with you in the chaos, and they love you through it.
If you’re still in that season of searching—please don’t give up. Keep showing up, even when it feels hard. You may have to try a few times, and it might take longer than you hoped, but your people are out there. They might be waiting for you in the least expected places, just like mine were. And when you do find them, you’ll be so grateful you kept looking.